Mister Ilma is crying.
Large tears are dripping down his face while he looks at me.
But I can tell he’s not sad.
It’s like… He’s moved I don’t really understand.
I have no idea how to react, so I look towards Miss Lan and Mister Dongu.
Their expressions are kind of indescribable too.
“Miss Lerunda… Your words make me very happy.
You have been concerned, and thinking about me.
You truly are… A marvelous miko.”
He looks at me with strong eyes.
I just told him I don’t trust him, that his faith is scary, and that I don’t know what he might do.
To be honest, I was worried that I would make him sad and hurt his feelings.
But… It doesn’t look like it bothered him at all.
In fact, he’s reacting like my words were a gift to him.
Mister Ilma accepts everything I say because I’m the miko.
If I wasn’t, he wouldn’t be reacting like this.
Still, if I wasn’t the miko, I wouldn’t have survived in the village where I was born.
Thinking about how things would be if I wasn’t the miko is pointless.
I can’t detach myself from being the miko.
“Miss Lerunda, just being given the opportunity to utter your name is a great honor to me.
I am very pleased to see you are accepting your position and power as the miko, but as far as the relationship between a priest and the miko goes, a priest does not simply nod to everything the miko says and does everything she wants.
A priest faces the miko directly and guides her.
Indeed, what I feel towards the miko could be called faith.
For me, you are equal to god.”
Mister Ilma’s words feel straight as an arrow.
He looks directly at me, and his words feel direct and without a hint of lie.
It moves my heart.
“Miss Lerunda, my feelings towards you are immense, and if you ask me, I will do my best to make your wishes come true, but I do not believe I would ever do anything to upset you.
If I ever do taint your heart with unhappiness, I will be willing to offer up my life to god.”
Hum… So basically, if he does something that goes against my wishes and makes me sad, he will choose death That’s heavy.
I don’t like that one bit.
To think he might die thinking I would want that… If I’m not careful he might die, so I have to tell him I really don’t want him to kill himself.
As I think about this, he continues.
“And thus, the fact that you will be observing my actions makes me very happy.
I do not want to do anything that goes against your wishes.
At the very least, I have no intention of doing so, but I am only human, so there may be things that seem right to me but undesirable to you.
I want to be closer to your heart, and understand you more than anyone else, but still, we are different people.
If I do take action in some way, I will be sure to report it to you, as you wish.
If you find my actions to be unpleasant, please say so, and I will do my best to refrain from doing it.
I want to do my best not to do anything that you find unpleasant, but I do not have the confidence to say that will never happen.
So please, watch me as much as you like.
I am happy with anything granted by you, so even if you still do not trust me, I am happy that you chose to face me in this manner.”
“…Yes, but Mister Ilma, don’t kill yourself.
Live for my sake too.”
I will grant you your wish.”
At the very least, I’m relieved to hear he won’t kill himself.
Still, I really am important to him.
Those heavy feelings surprised me a lot to be honest.
But it can’t be denied that I’m dear to him, even if it’s in a different way than Miss Lan and the others.
Mister Ilma accepted my feelings, and will now be allowed to go outside.
Miss Shehan is also going to be watched, just like Mister Ilma, but apparently she doesn’t have a problem with it as long as she can stay with Mister Ilma.
—Girl and faith – Part three