————-Thinking about it again…… I might have been wrong from the start.
When I came to this world, I admitted that my heart was shattered and I became a fragment of an illusion. I had become a being who only thinks about fulfilling Iris' wish so that she can finally die……
Whether it's the reformation of the Demon Realm or the increase in my subordinates…… All of it was for myself, not for anyone else.
I was really only thinking about myself at that time. No, I guess it's correct to say that "I wasn't even properly thinking about myself" at that time.
Looking at the me from the past, I had understood. I was trying to fall in love in order to fulfill Iris' wish and die. Instead of "falling in love with someone for the sake of loving them", I was trying to complete the task of "falling in love and dying".
……There was no way I could afford to fall in love with a mind that only had a desire for my own ruin. At that time though, I didn't even realize something so simple. I was just getting more and more impatient and frustrated about fulfilling this task.
In the first place, I probably didn't even allow anyone to enter my heart. Always putting up walls around my heart, I never allowed anyone to see what's within it…… I had become quite the hikikomori back then. I guess when you've been a mourning woman for hundreds of thousands of years, there must be something wrong in my head.
Realizing the reason why my objectives weren't achieved…… made me think that my encounter with Kaito-san was truly a miraculous one.
Frankly speaking, I didn't see Kaito-san as a love interest when I first saw him. The reason why I contacted him wasn't for myself, it was truly just to "repay Kuro-san's kindness towards me".
I had always felt guilty about Kuro-san. Even though I didn't know it at that time, my choice had interfered with the fulfillment of Kuro-san's wish.
I owed a debt of gratitude to Kuro-san for picking me up, and I had been looking for an opportunity to repay it.
That's why, I overlooked Kuro-san's rare instance of selfishness. And to help ensure the best possible outcome for Kuro-san, I got in touch with Kaito-san. Playing the role of Alice……
Kaito-san met many people in this world, his heart became stronger, made friends with the Six Kings, and overcame the tragedy of being betrayed by a person he thought was his friend…… After gaining more strength, he will then challenge the depths hidden beneath Kuro-san's heart.
That was the scenario I wrote…… not for myself, but for Kuro-san.
……I confess. I had set up about a third of the people Kaito-san had met before he challenged the depths within Kuro-san's heart.
I knew that Isis-san is approaching from her magic power…… so I "adjusted the time so that they would encounter each other on his way home".
As for Megiddo-san and Magnawell-san, I guess I don't have to talk about how I told them again…… but I was also the one who tickled Fate-san's interest, telling her about Kaito-san.
It's all for the purpose of repaying my debt to Kuro-san……
Yes, meeting Kaito-san was the only time I moved and thought not for myself, but for Kuro-san. In hindsight, I guess that was probably the most important key point for me.
Normally, I would have only been impatiently thinking about falling in love so I could die already, but I didn't see Kaito-san as a love interest at all…… The fact that I was going to concentrate on that until Kuro-san's matter was resolved worked out nicely for me.
……Yes, at the time I first met Kaito-san…… I think my heart had opened up a bit.
That's why…… Kaito-san's image overlapped with Iris.
At that time, I felt really strange.
When I was talking with Kaito-san, instead of thinking that I should smile, I found myself naturally smiling…… "Ahh, smiling was supposed to be done, isn't it", feeling nostalgic, that was the thought that popped out of my mind.
We chatted about trivial things, laughed about trivial things, scolded for trivial things…… I started to lose track of myself more and more.
I felt like the actor in the scenario to make Kuro-san's wish come true…… the person named Alice was becoming bigger and bigger in my mind.
At the same time, little by little…… It's really just little by little, but it feels like my broken heart is being repaired…… and I was beginning to remember what it felt like "to care about someone".
And then, while I was feeling confused, remembering things I should have forgotten…… that decisive event occurred.
[Kaito-san, youre barking up the wrong tree here. Dont direct your grudge at me. This is just my job. Besides, you and I are just friends…… Its not like were family or lovers, that is only the extent of our relationship.]
[……Yeah, you're right……]
This is fine. This is where Alice, the traitor who betrayed Kaito-san, disappears. There are a few directions where the situation can develop, but if Kaito-san wants to, I could also prepare Alice's fake corpse and bring it to him as the Phantasmal King.
Yes, this was the scenario that was decided right from the start. Kaito-san would get shocked after being betrayed by someone he thought of as a friend, and Kuro-san will be by his side, gently comforting his wounded heart.
Then, his feelings for Kuro will be strengthened with this event, and he will grow a lot as a person by overcoming this experience…… That is what I've been preparing for all these times. I've also ensured that my subordinates are lurking around the perimeter, making sure that Kaito-san doesn't get hurt in any way.
There shouldn't have…… been a problem…… but why does my heart hurt so much…… I'm sure I've done more outrageous things in the past, but what is with this discomfort I'm feeling
I can't breathe, I can't look at Kaito-san's face anymore……
[Well then, I'll be going home~~]
Trying hard to control my trembling heart, I say goodbye to Kaito-san with a tone as light as possible.
This will do…… Kaito-san and I are just friends…… Nothing more, nothing less. This is how it was supposed to be……
[What is it]
Why is it that I stopped in my tracks "Alice" will no longer appear in front of Kaito-san. From now on, it will just be "Phantasmal King No Face" that will be in contact with Kaito-san, so I could have just ignored him then……
[……Don't quickly waste all your money this time.]
[……I'll think about it.]
……Why did you say that Please stop, don't confuse me any more…… I betrayed your trust, didn't I
Wrapped in unspeakable emotions, I opened the door of the room and left, looking at Kaito-san's face a little as I closed it.
Kaito-san…… He had a troubled, yet very kind smile on his face. As if what happened today couldn't be helped……
As I leaned against the door I had just closed, I finally understood what I was feeling.
Ahh, I see, I finally understood…… I "wanted to be Alice" huh. It was supposed to be a character that would be disposed of after the climax happens, but before I knew it, Alice had become "the new me".
And then, Kaito-san…… he would also…… want it like that, wouldn't he I have come to understand that…… although it may seem like a very long and roundabout way , but this is…… you are…… the one I've been looking for all these times.
Before I knew it, I was inside the room, breaking down the door I had closed myself.
[And that's why…… I'm here to help you! Kaito-san!]
Isn't it fine If this is what you want, I'll be Alice. Scenarios can be adjusted as one needed after all.
Not as Shalltear, nor as No Face, but just as Alice…… I will help you!
Yes, on this day, at this moment, "I have been reborn".
Not as the hero from another world (Alicia), nor as a fragment of illusion (Shalltear), and not also as the faceless king (No Face)…… but as the new me (Alice)…… I fell in love with you.
Serious-senpai : [Gofuu…… S- So this is that so-called pleasant sweetness huh…… but this is fine…… this is fine…… As expected of Kaito, he just made his entrance and…… Fufu, keep going like this…… don't…… stop.]
T/N: Not sure I'll be around tomorrow, so I'll just post this now.