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Desperate Pretense At Being Poor CH 35

Author:Wen Category:urban Update time:2022-09-23 14:42:48


Chapter 35 – Diary

(T/N:  Chapters 35 & 36 might be a bit heart-wrenching and depressing for some people.  If youre unable to handle distress at this particular time, it is advisable to skip the two chapters and proceed to Chapter 37.)

A rainy day.

The air in the storage room was damp and oppressive with a musty smell.  The room was dimly lit and only a dim ray of sunlight streamed through the high window to illuminate a brick on the floor.

The girl was crouching in a corner hugging her knees and curled into a ball.

Her hair was in a mess and her arms were covered with blue and purple bruises.  At this moment, she was biting her lower lip trying hard to suppress her chokes as tears slipped out uncontrollably from the corners of her eyes.

A boy was sitting beside her with his head lowered and his clean and white school uniform was full of stains.  His eyes were dull and calm as he listened to the girl sobbing beside him but did not utter a word.

The sound of crying gradually weakened until it was completely quiet.

The boy still did not turn his head.  A long time later, a small band-aid suddenly appeared in front of him.

He was startled for a moment and his dark eyes seemed to instantly light up.

The girl next to him did not speak but after handing over the band-aid to the boy, she pushed herself up from the floor with her hands.  She limped forward a few steps and suddenly said.

“Lets go…….lets go home……”

It was not a beautiful story about love and youth.

It was just that they were on the brink of despair and loneliness.  Two lonely souls drew close to each other and sympathetically tried to feel the last warmth in each other.

Qin Wan was a person who was full of expectations for the future.

She had started to write a diary to exchange with Lu Kechen.

“Every day write down whatever that makes you sad and whatever that you look forward to in the future and well show it to each other.  In this way, perhaps we can encourage each other and then wait until the day when everything will change for the better.”

Bullying does not have reasons.

Perhaps it is because grades are not good enough or because grades are too good.

Perhaps it is because appearances are not beautiful enough or because appearances are too beautiful.

Lu Kechen knew that Qin Wan was a girl worthy of love.

When it rains, she would stop by the roadside to look out for stray cats, give a dollar bill to beggars in ragged clothes on the street, and will hold children by their hands and lead them to cross the road.

However, the perpetrator would never ask what you did on a rainy day…….

Qin Wan was always full of hopes for the future.

Every day she would write in her diary –Tomorrow will be better.”

Girls would always crave for dew, flowers, and the warm sun……..but not gloomy rain, bruises, and damp storage rooms…….

So one day, Qin Wan looked for the teacher and showed him the injuries on her body.

She had always hoped to change all these.

The teacher said –It will definitely be resolved. 

He called for Gu Chencheng and Xu Binru and pointed at both of them.

“Dont go too overboard with your actions.  Hurry up and apologize to Qin Wan and then write a review.”

Qin Wan looked at the two people in front of her.  They were smiling and bowing down to apologize to her but she could only feel the coldness seeping in through her fingertips and spreading within her.

In this world, no one could feel the pain if one did not experience it personally.

“You have gotten so bold that you complained to the teacher!”

“Aiya, were so scared!”

Lu Kechen was more mature than Qin Wan and knew that life is not an inspirational story to make children happy.

Not every resistance will result in victory.

For example, Gu Chenchengs uncle was the Dean of the Middle School, so most teachers would close an eye to these matters.

Anyway, it did not cause any serious consequences.

But that was only their thoughts.

In the end, Qin Qan received even more painful beatings and humiliations than before.

Someone rushed up and stripped off the girls shirt then took countless indecent photos of her with a mobile phone.

Laughter filled their ears and repeatedly echoed in their minds endlessly.  In the end, it turned into a nightmare that kept them awake at night.

Qin Wan no longer wrote in her diary anymore……

And she never wrote that sentence –Tomorrow will be better …..again.

The day that Qin Wan fell into the water was the same as any other day.

After taking those indecent photos, Gu Chencheng and his group of friends seemed to have found a moreinteresting way to entertain themselves than just merely giving them a beating.

The only difference was that Qin Wan ran away.

When Lu Kechen found Qin Wan, she was beside Dongyang Lake.

“Go back……if you run away that group of people will surely send out your photos in a fit of anger.  You cant run forever.”

Qin Wan did not speak.  She lowered her eyes and retreated step by step until her heels were half-dangling from the edge……and the gravel slipped from under her feet.

She pursed her lips tightly, the corners of her lips trembled, and then she slowly raised her tearful eyes.  A long time later, she suddenly closed her eyes and her body fell backward.

Lu Kechens pupils shrank and he hurriedly reached out to grab her.

But Qin Wan still fell into Dongyang Lake in front of his eyes.

The lake water in November was so cold that it felt like her whole body was immersed in ice cubes.  The biting cold poured into her eyes, ears, mouth, and nose…….smothering out her vivid life.

The people around rushed up…….

“A girl fell into the water!”

“Just now I saw a boy pulling back and forth with her.  Im not sure if he had pushed her in!”

“Did anyone call the police!  Hurry up, call for an ambulance!”

Qin Wan died.

Reporters flocked to the school.  All the classmates and teachers were very cooperative and performed well in front of the cameras…….

“She was a very kind and well-behaved child.”

“Yes, her academic performance was also very good, and she was always very considerate.”

“We feel very regretful.”

“The school attaches great importance to this matter and will definitely give an explanation.  Moreover, we have repeatedly stated that we are against school bullying and will not tolerate any violent behavior.”

It was very ironic.

Many people would only start to cry and try to make amends after something irreparable had happened.  Only then would they start to cry bitterly and try to make up for it and express their love for the victim expressing pain and regret.

But why did no one love her when she was still alive

Lu Kechen was brought to court and when he looked at Qin Wans grief-stricken parents, he slowly closed his eyes.

“Lu Kechen, you must speak the truth without hiding anything and tell me what happened.”

The very young-looking lawyer said to him.

What should he tell the lawyer

In the name of justice, the media and reporters posted pictures of the deceased everywhere to increase the hype and aroused the publics curiosity to compete with each other for the click-through rate.

If he told them that Qin Wan ran away because she could not stand the vile humiliation it would then inevitably create a great hot discussion topic for them.

Qin Wan was already in great pain when she was alive and Lu Kechen wanted her to remain pure and untainted in death.

Therefore, he said.  “I have nothing to say…….”

The skylights gradually dimmed.


One day, while Lu Kechen was cleaning his desk, he came across a familiar notebook.

It was Qin Wans diary which he had not exchanged for a long time.

~Actually I am not a particularly strong person because I think that if I am to act optimistic, I might be able to comfort myself a bit more.  But I really dont want to continue living this kind of life.

~The Chinese Language Teacher said that many literary creators like to write about tragedies because only tragedies cant be forgotten and will make people contemplate deeper.  At that time I didnt understand why a tragedy must happen first before one can contemplate deeper.

~But now, it seems I can suddenly understand the meaning of those words.  Must this matter be first proven that it is not only just adisturbance…….

then only will real attention and apology be given

~No longer will I look forward to tomorrow…..but I hope you will still look forward to it.

Lu Kechen picked up his school bag and walked out of the classroom.

It started to rain again.


seems like it has always been a gloomy rainy season.


Father Lu could not sleep the whole night.

He woke up in the morning and after thinking for a while, he decided to talk to Lu Kechen again.  However, when he pushed the door open, he found the room empty.

Lu Kechens bed was tidy, his desk was also neat and clean.  It looked like he had left very early.

Father Lu sighed and walked into his sons room.  He swept a gaze around the room for a while and was inexplicably overwhelmed with sadness.

Since young, Lu Kechen has always been a very obedient and sensible child.

When Father Lu was about to leave the room, his eyes were suddenly drawn to the drawer.

He knew that this drawer had always been locked and as a father, he naturally respected his sons privacy, so he had never made any attempt to open it.

But at this moment, he seemed to be drawn by an invisible force and stretched out his hand to pull the drawer open.

Surprisingly, the drawer was not locked.

A diary was lying quietly inside…….but looking at the cover, it did not appear to be something that a boy would use.

Father Lu flipped to one of the pages and after reading the first line, he was stumped.


The sun rose ……..the lights and shadows changed…….

Father Lu did not go to the store today but sat on the sofa and extinguished cigarette after cigarette.

After a long time, he took out the business card from the side that Wen Ruan gave him and called the number.

“Lawyer Wen, its me…….Im Lu Kechens father.”

“Sorry to bother you but I have to trouble you now…….”


“Ai, Wen Ruan, where are you going”

Just as Qin Sushan was coming out of the tea room with a cup of water, she saw Wen Ruan packing up her bag with her head lowered and it looked like she was about to leave the office.

Wen Ruan picked up the bag and said.  “Lu Kechens father called me just now and told me something regarding Qin Wan, so Im going to Lu Kechens school now.  When you see the President later, please inform him on my behalf.”

Qin Sushan smiled helplessly and then sighed.  “Okay.”

When Wen Ruan was in the taxi, she felt her eyebrows twitching.

She did not know why but she felt inexplicably ill at ease since just now.

Can it be that she has been feeling too anxious recently

She sighed and rubbed her temples.

Lu Kechen should know that the polices investigation of him will become more and more stringent.  So if he has other plans or there are some people he wants to kill, then he will surely do it now.


“Found anything new”

“Based on our investigation, Qin Biyangs colleague said a boy with yellow hair came to see Qin Biyang more than a month ago.  They chatted for a while and parted unhappily.   After conducting a comparison, we found that the boy with yellow hair is called Xu Binrui and he has a good relationship with Gu Chencheng.”

Fu Zhihuan:  “Xu Binrui”

The police officer handed over a photo of Xu Binrui and explained.

“Xu Binrui, Gu Chencheng and Lu Kechen are all from the same school.”

Fu Zhihuan picked up the photo and looked at it with a slight frown.  A long while later, he stood up, neatened his sleeves, and said.

“Come, lets make a trip to the school.”


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